CONTEMPLATING WRITING A BLOG
July 14, 2019
Here are my notes and stream of consciousness writing as I considered writing a blog. Edited July 14.

7/12/2019
So, I want to write a blog. Maybe I just need somewhere I can mind dump everything that goes through my head and that gives me the illusion of getting it out and being heard. Maybe I am a little disappointed about the total non-event my book ended up being. I'm not sure. Anyway, a blog sounds fun.

I want my blog to be about me. Not any one of the many roles I take on, but a place where I can talk about all of the things that take up my brain on different occasions. I am large, I contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman has said.

Of course, before I can do anything, I have to think of a name for the stupid thing. I can't actually start writing until I have name I can register for the web domain, then I can use the Weebly template on my BlueHost and set it up with Blog pages. I couldn't just start typing, because that wouldn't go anywhere and therefore would be useless. Except, I have been having trouble finding a name I like, so I wanted to blog about that. So here I am writing about thinking about writing at some point in the future after I maybe find a name I like. And having it go nowhere.

I thought about Mary's Musings, but it has been done. So then I looked up synonyms for words like unfettered, unchained, unbound, because I want to just let it all out in this space. I know it probably seems like I am outspoken and inappropriate already for some of you, but I still hold myself back more than I want to. Not as much as I used to, thank goodness, but I still feel bound by my culture and my need for acceptance to act and behave in certain ways that sometimes feel like something is holding me in. When I become aware of it, I don't like it.

So what is a good word to embody All of Me, unbound, unleashed?
Hmmm. I'm still working on this one. I thought about going to the encyclopedia or dictionary and flipping through the M section, except no one has those any more. Maybe at the library? I don't even know where to go to find one of these books.
I ran across some latin words - Magnum Opus, Omnes Includi
Except this blog is not my greatest work, I hope not anyway. My book is probably better. My cuddle work has affected lots of people. I probably have another facet of my work that would be better called my Magnum Opus. What about music terms like Scheherezade, minuet, waltz. Now it's just getting silly. Where do I get a list of those?

Music - types of composition
Impromptu
Interlude
Rhapsody
Suite - music composed from pieces already used in another ballet, opera or play.

So of course I had to go put a few of these through the latin translator. I didn't care for any of the results, unfortunately.
This is getting me nowhere. When do I actually get to start writing? There's that wet spot story I wanted to tell you about.

This blog will be for me. Audience of one, with maybe some peripheral people taking a look now then. Perhaps. Probably no one is really interested in what I have to write. However, I read a lot of crap that other people write, and I'm sure that I can do at least as well as they could, if not better. So why not?

Back to the point. I want to write about everything. So you may see here my ideas and thoughts on cuddle stuff, sex, knitting, yarn, fabric, gardens, plants, watering, oceans, clothes, shoes, music, plays, being in theater, relationships, no clothes days, masturbation, proper website design, sex workers rights, facebook over use, how to name a blog, how to design the sex blanket we are working on so it will properly absorb and keep us dry, what role I may want in the summer Gilbert and Sullivan show. So many topics going through my brain. This will not be filtered, so you can take whatever bits you may like and just leave the rest. I am so weary of filters and getting up in my head about how I am perceived. Does my activism for sex education hurt my reptutation as a cuddler - which is non-sexual? Does my openness about my own sexuality hurt my perception as a facilitator of non-sexual events? Those I have asked say it doesn't. But to those who it might matter, they probably don't talk to me. So there is no way to find out. I know I would tell someone else that you can't ever know, so just move on and do what you want to. People can take or leave you the way that you run your life. If you make your different hats clear, that is all you can do. I still worry about it a little. Not enough to pull back completely. But I did close the Snuggle Fest Nourishing Connections group mostly because of my unsubstantiated perception that it could be hurting how people see me for cuddle work and I'm kind of sad I did now.

This is a stream of consciousness typing, if you hadn't figured that out yet. If I were writing an article or a book, I would go back and do some editing on that last paragraph. I know it doesn't quite flow or make sense, but that is how I thought it, so that is how I blogged it to you.

This blogging thing is kind of fun. I can just type whatever I want to!

Now I don't know what to type. With that freedom of realization, my mind went blank. Some of that may be because I have a pretty good headache going on and I'm quite tired. If I didn't have to be at work today, I really would have had a nap this afternoon. That would have been a good idea.


Ok, back to the name? I need a name so I can register my web domain so I can write a blog. What is my name?

This was a cool latin phrase website I found.

There were many words on here that I knew, which made me feel smart. There were more than a few on here that I knew, but I didn't realize were latin, which made me feel stupid for not realizing those words had a latin origin. So it was a roller coaster of emotions to read down this list. No not really. Well, actually, it was kind of impactful and fun to read these.

Mary ab intra - Mary from the inside.
Ab irato - from the angry man. I'm not an angry man, nor an angry woman, at least not most of the time, but I thought this was a cool phrase.
Mary ad infinitum - it will probably feel like this when I get going. Without limit - actually this could be a good one. And most people know what it means. When I was thinking of terms like unfettered, unbound, I wanted to removed the un from them. You know it is always better to have the positive form of the word instead of the negated form when you are describing or naming something or calling something to you (the Secret). Your brain doesn't hear the negatives, so it only processes 'bound' and 'fettered'. We don't want that. Mary ad infinitum. Perhaps.
Ad lib or ad libitum. This one I felt stupid for not realizing it came from latin. With freedom, freely, improvised, spontaneously created. This could be good too. Also widely recognizable.
Ad nauseam - I hope not. We won't use this one.

Mary adsum - I am here. Answer to roll call. Interesting.
Mirabilis - wonderful. I do like to use alliteration and circling
Cogito ergo sum scribere - I think, therefore I write. Not sure if google translate is getting that one right. But kind of cool. Anyone speak latin who can verify this translation for me?
Mary de dicto - of the word.
Mary ex mero motu - spontaneously, no external influence. Out of simple impulse. Sounds japanese.
In pleno - in full
Mirabile dictu - wonderful to say. Amazingly to tell
Sui generis - utterly distinctive and unique
Suo jure - in her own right

I probably won't use any of these, so probably just wasted a couple of hours. Anyway, pretty interesting.

In the raw, in the buff, naked, nude, open, free,

random access Mary

Update the next day. I decided to call it Contemplating Rainbows. Of course all the background work was necessary to get to here. I googled contemplating rainbows and came up with this image: Nathan Fillion contemplates a rainbow.

Next, I found the domain was unclaimed, therefore, I claimed it. I also claimed Contemplating-Rainbows.com so I could advertise that one. I didn't want everyone to just see 'grain' in the middle of contemplatingrainbows. So I've got both ContemplatingRainbows.com and Contemplating-Rainbows.com. Maybe someone rich will want to come buy it from me and that will make my fortune. Could happen.

Next choice was what template to use and how to set myself up. Well, I did some research online on how to set up a blog and everyone recommended Wordpress. I've heard of Wordpress, of course. Mostly when they were asking in job interviews if I knew Wordpress, and I said No. I am an old school, html by hand web designer. I tried the Weebly templates available from my BlueHost for free, but they filled the pages with pictures. No room for text. I don't like that. Also, I would have to find lots of pictures. I also don't like that. Some pictures, yes, but not lots.

So after going back and forth with research and templates and trying to decide if I was going to pay for Wordpress, I decided to do it the way I have always done it and just write my site by hand. I know my web design skills are a little behind the times, but the best way to bring them up to speed is to practice by writing a site. So I sat down and wrote an outline of what I want my blog site to look like, having seen very few blog sites and refusing to go look at any for comparison. That's just the way I do. I can do all of it with my current knowledge except set up a comments feature. I would like to hear back from you, because after all, I might as well just write this stuff in my journal and save myself the aggravation if no will be reading it. So I searched for a comments widget and found one right away. Hopefully it works well. This is a grand experiment and I hope you all will join me.

Coming next, I want to tell you about that wet spot story. That was the whole reason I wanted to do this stupid blog in the first place. See you soon.

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